Part of progress is pressing on even when the odds are against you, and the odds have recently gone out and purchased pepper spray and an angry dog, and the odds are seriously still holding a grudge against you from middle school gym class. The odds are a real jerk, but when you have such amazing kickball teams, the odds tend to sit on the sidelines and watch two groups of people enjoy a friendly game, and maybe the odds would even call their parents to tell them they love them. That’s what kickball tends to inspire: love. It also tends to inspire VICTORY. The teams!

Team I’m Still Bleeding!

Strengths: Bleeding, winning, winning while bleeding, official endorsement of Barack Obama.

Weaknesses: Dizzy, prone to fainting spells, anemic, vampires.

Team “Totally Tuesdays, Courtesy Of Me Asking Dean Online And Him Not Quite Remembering But Authorizing Me To Use That As Their Team Name”

Strengths: Sharp incisors, poeticness, Christian’s impeccable balance.

Weaknesses: Fear of bleeding people, no actual team name, disorganization, Black Plague.

This game was one for the long haul, as we played a full-length game matched by another unintentional almost-full length game. In the first game, balls were kicked in the traditional manner, and hearts were broken in all sorts of ways. In addition, we had a special guest appearance by Jenny From Chicago, who I repeatedly screamed was from New York. But that’s life, baby. Specifically, that’s the maelstrom of controlled chaos that kickball is. And plus, where else can you observe such whimsy in the face of binge-drinking?

Most Enthusiastic / Jerk People: EVERYONE ELSE (as you can see above, for example, April) was all smiles. Dean, on the other hand (and team, which will explain my hostility coming up right after this next parentheses) was a JERK for consistently catching my team’s kicks. Including mine. All animosity will be erased if he’s simply on my team next time.

Overall, another game that was filled to the brim with victory and bile and blood, all wrapped up in friendship and sunshine. New to the game? Great! Show up, bring a friend, kick some balls. I would also like to apologize for the very last play of the last game. I swear to god I thought Shawn Allen was behind me, where he usually is. Sorry about that, team.

Good job, everyone! The next game is at Speedway Meadows. Normal time, abnormal people. See you there.