Everything was like Arkansas with this game: just a little bit bigger and badder for you. We had a perfect turnout of over 40 people, which of course we right away made one half hate the other half via careful propeganda and initiated a game of kickball. The handsome teams:

The Flamin’ Hots:

Attributes: Steam-powered cybernetic implants instead of legs enabling absurd kicking power, collective respect of early Brit-Rock movement, can change color to match surroundings if feeling threatened.

Non-attributes: Team enthusiasm fueled by coal, diesel, beer. Irrational fear of round, red objects.

Team Envied:

Attributes: No developed sense of fear, complete drive to press on even if losing by over 15 points, integrity, sexiness.

Not-So-Greats: Allergic to water, must take breaks every 10 minutes to get advice from L. Ron Hubbard’s ghost.

The teams went at each other with the fury of veteran warriors, or as we say in the midwest, like “a real son of a bitch”. In turn, it yielded both an incredible match, as well as incredible bloodshed. I always thought the term “blood fountain” was a dramatic term until Sunday came, when I realized it was very real and just as horrific.

Somehow, the score marched past any sort of rational number and was roughly 32-23 or something insane like that. It means many things: we’re getting better at scoring, and the Spirit Of Kickball is slowly possessing us, each one, until our last match cumulates with all of us going completely mad. Only a few more weeks!

During the last run, starved for points, Team Envied went for running the bases as a collective. On the brink of dehydration, we stormed home plate like so many frothing-at-the-mouth Vikings, and in the process sprained Jordan’s finger. Jordan also sustained a kickball to the eye socket. It’s nice to see people make sacrifices for the game, though I think all of us could do with less blood next time.

There were several new faces and it was very nice to meet every single one of you: remember, our next game is coming up! Check the schedule, and show up and have some fun. It’s the easiest thing to do in the world because we’re all so friendly and nice and welcoming and good-looking.

Things also got a little sexier with a girl-on-girl Drink-Off. Observe:

Hotttt. The title of this picture could have just read “peer pressure at a high school party”, but then again, it could have also read “AWESOME”. See you all soon!

love,

Jared